What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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