So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
