kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We have so much sex to catch up on
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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