When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
