a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
