I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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