Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
