i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
