Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize