Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
