There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
