dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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