This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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