i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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