Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
