we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
just tell him i said nine months
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
