She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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