I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize