but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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