i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Randomize
