so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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