Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Someone shattered a urinal.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I am one with the molecules
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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