physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
