so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
