Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the room spins SO much faster in panama
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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