i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
