"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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