your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
this just has baby written all over it
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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