Are we in a gay sports bar?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
