I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
