Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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