Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
