what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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