And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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