the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
