ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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