I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
