Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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