We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
