i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
