your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I skipped work to stalk him.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
