dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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