i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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