My sheets look like a crime scene.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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