I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
