youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
worst night to have a conscience
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
