Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
