Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Sorry about my life...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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