I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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