i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
