hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
