You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
two words...techno handjob
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
