some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
