forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
