There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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