He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
