last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize