I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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