We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
