I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
