how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
