Say something about gay babies.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
