Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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