you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
