I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize