Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
