You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
