Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
