her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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