have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
