can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
