What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
my liver is dry heaving
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
