i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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