I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
