I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
